Concur with ‘The Helpful Marriage Book’ recommendation. I found it very, well, helpful. That said, it’s trying to do different things to ‘The Complete Husband,’ so they’re not exactly parallel books. You asked for resource on teaching men specifically. THMB has a lot of great theology and some brilliant application, but it doesn’t (through no fault of it’s own) get into the weeds of men and marriage the way TCH does.
I don’t! I prefer Baxter or Gouge, but not every man today either can or is willing to read them. I’ve used Thomas Watson in a men’s Bible study with really encouraging fruit. Other Puritans would have harder to use directly in discipleship today. The discourse and presuppositions do make application to 21st century society difficult, and in picking battles, I’ve looked for materials that provide much the same in substance, even if the form is different. Interestingly enough, Priolo is one of the few practical counselling authors I know of today who does make regular use of Baxter’s ‘Christian Directory.’
Brother, if this is your problem with the book, I think you’re straining at gnats. I know so many men who have struggled to understand how and why their wives work the way they do. How many men are completely baffled by their wives? He’s using a manual as an illustration, not making metaphysical arguments from it. Do you think a manual is a poor illustration, or do you object to using illustrations from daily life?
Completely agree with you on this point. This was one of the significant theological defects in the old NANC/ACBC model of counselling. That said, I recommended this book because it’s useful, not because it’s perfect.
That’s simply not what Priolo says. Nor is it what he means. He’s urging husbands to look in their wives’ hearts so they can know them. He’s urging husbands to live considerately with their wives, to live with them according to knowledge - that’s an emphasis is taken from a direct command in 1 Peter 3.7, not a romantic-soulmate paradigm of marriage. And he explicitly argues against what you say he says later in the book. This is anything but a ‘love me the way I want to be loved’ kind of book. It is definitely a ‘learn to discipline yourself to know your wife so you can love her the way Christ loves his church’ kind of book.
You don’t have to like or even use the book - it makes no difference to me - but you asked for resources for teaching men about marriage. How many contemporary references have been given so far? This book does teach men about what the Bible says about being a husband, and I’ve used it to great profit in my own life and in my ministry. It’s not man (or woman) centred, and it’s absolutely soaked in what scripture says about the importance of scripture in marriage, about men and women’s roles in marriage, conflict resolution, parenting, training, confrontation, and reconciliation. It also helps husbands know how their wives see them versus how they see themselves. Haven’t you seen a major problem in marriage being that husbands and wives perceive themselves and each other different to reality?
You say alien cultural frames of reference are more like to be passed over. I’ve seen that makes those resources more likely to be ignored altogether - especially in the large urban culture I gather you and I share. Priolo is intentionally building on a Puritan understanding of marriage, even if imperfectly (particularly regarding sexuality and children), but he’s also trying (as did Luther) to apply the truths of scripture in the language of today. It isn’t a perfect book, but no book is. I truly hope we’re not expecting every book to agree with every one of our positions on every issue. And I also hope we don’t think that only 400 year old answers can be used to contemporary problems. I’ve done several turns on that merry-go-round. It doesn’t go well.