I read Reforming Marriage shortly before I was married, and have read it again since, a few times. I read it later last year.
I had underlined the line that said marriage problems were the husband’s responsibility. I underlined it because I thought it was garbage. A pastor at the time - Steve Hussung, Richmond Baptist Church - helped me understand my error. At least in part.
I try now. But I still slip into that ugly mindset. I teach my sons to take responsibility for problems they see around them even if they aren’t problems of their own making. Of course I try in my marriage, on my better days.