New Warhorn Media post by Nathan Alberson:
Pastor Bayly said something I wanted to perhaps see explained further.
In the episode, Tim recounted how he had told a friend, (at 22:22) âmaybe the most important thing is that your wife doesnât think youâre anything special for a preacherâ.
Nate proceeded to give him a knowing, âum hmmâ. So nothing more was said on that note, but I have no idea what was meant! lol
To be honest, I may have a bit of a bad conscience about it, but if I am in error in some way I do not know, I want to know. My wife thinks very well of my preaching. I think she is an atypical and good woman, I think she is one that would spit on the maudlin. =]
But⌠well basically if there are more parts of this to come that could clarify that point I would welcome to have some clarity on that particular throwaway point I would welcome them.
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Welcome, brother.
I think itâs a great question, and I think some interesting conversation could come from it.
My wife compliments my preaching occasionally, and thatâs encouraging! Lol.
I know that @tbbayly (my dad) has sometimes told a story about a pastor whose wife had nothing positive to say about his preaching. Thatâs clearly not good either!
The problem, if I were to guess, is when a man buys his own BS (pardon the expression), and his wife does too. How can she help him if she canât see his faults?
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If my wife did not give me fairly regular encouragement about my work, I would be forced to throw myself off a bridge. I am pro-wives-encouraging-their-husbands. I think she is sincere in her praise, finds the good things to praise, doesnât falsely praise, and when she doesnât like something sheâs certainly not averse to telling me. I think these are good things. I think not throwing myself off a bridge is a good thing.
On the other hand, if my wife flattered me + encouraged me when I was doing poorly + didnât ever rebuke me or spur me on to greater godliness ⌠other people would probably throw me off a bridge.
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Yes, to both Joseph and Nathan. We need our wives to help us, and itâs dangerous when they only tell us âgreat job.â One of the most helpful things a good wife does is to show us our errors and how we can do better, without being disrespectful and just discouraging us. Love,
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I finished preaching a sermon (while living in Bloomington funny enough), and I mentioned a few things Iâd meant to say but had forgotten in the moment. Without missing a beat my wife responded, âYeah, I think that was the work of the Holy Spirit.â
Gutting. My wife thinks the Spirit works most powerfully in my preaching by getting me to shut up!
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Hey Joseph, nice to meet you! Thanks for the welcome.
Thanks for sharing your family with the church at large. I am a PK myself and know being a sermon illustration is on the low end of the difficulties that can come with the title, and I know your family probably would have done the same with or without your blessing. But all the same I wanted to say thanks. I am not sure you loved it because I donât know you, but I sense by the fact that you are on here sharing means you are as a whole good with it. I know you probably did share mom and dad more than most, so I just wanted to say thanks on that front. I have been challenged greatly by the boys at Warhon these last years and I think a lot of that stems from your family - Praise God!
I am glad to hear my question at least makes sense to another, lol
I think I am safe of the ditches on both sides for now as you describe them, but I wanted to reach out and ask at the very least.
Lol well put.
I think I married well on that front. My wife is many things, a false flatterer is not one of her besetting sins, at least based on my observations for the last 10 years.
Thank you Pastor Bayly for clarifying.
*I am not sure it would fit into the âThe World We Madeâ trajectory you guys have set but I would welcome a deeper dive on marriage from your all. I have been grateful to discover you all and the sin of effeminacy through your work. As I have been repenting and my wife has been gracious as I have been trying to walk in repentance it has⌠stirred the pot in my marriage some over the last 2 years. =] *
*My wife would say she was raised by feminists and is a recovering one herself so falling naturally into God-given gender roles isnât the most intuitive thing in the world for us to date. Good progress has been made, but I would sure welcome more counsel on that front. *
*** I bet the helpful marriage seminar was really great on that front, I was unfortunately unable to attend, if audio exists from that gathering, I would certainly listen to it!***
*****Now that I have typed all of this I realize âThe Helpful Marriage Bookâ exists⌠I should probably buy and read it. lol *****
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Yeah, the book; but maybe Nathan and Jake and I will take on marriage again? Keep asking. Love,
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