Star Wars: The Last Jedi

New Warhorn Media post by Nathan Alberson:


It’s 197 minutes well spent, c’mon, folks.

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:hushed: what’s 197 minutes now?!

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I anticipate that this will be more entertaining than the movie. Probably also better than Rise of the Skywalker, although the tepid reviews from the outlets that showered Last Jedi with praise gives me cause for optimism.


Had no idea that TLJ was so loved by the critics. 91% Rotten Tomatoes is staggering for that mess.


Kinda gives ya a little hole for Skywalker.


That was a Freudian slip. I meant “hope”.

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My non-spoiler review of Rise of Skywalker: it’s like when picky childrens’ dad is out of town and the harried mother prepares dinner for herself and the kids - but half of the kids refuse to eat what she made, whining about chicken nuggets and pizza… so mom throws out the dinner she prepared and furiously makes everything the kids asked: chicken nuggets, french fries, pizza, macaroni and cheese and forces all of the complaining children to eat it until they throw up.

For comparison, my similarly-themed non-spoiler review of The Last Jedi (and the subsequent cultural fallout) would go like this: it’s like when a young man finally begins to go out with a girl he’s long admired, and on one of the first dates she makes him what she heard is his favorite dish. But she has no idea what actually goes in his favorite dish and more or less makes up an entirely new dish with flavors that don’t mix and the bare minimum of elements that qualify it as even being related to his favorite dish. Then when the young man confesses he didn’t like it, she tearfully and dramatically breaks up with him and he is harangued by her friends and family for not appreciating the heart and uniqueness of her efforts, insisting that he’s simply too unsophisticated to appreciate fine cuisine.



Dying over here.

My non-spoiler review is a little more positive: JJ Abrams did a great job making a good (great?) Star Wars movie out of the garbage pile left to him by Rian Johnson and JJ Abrams.

Semi-spoiler about something gross and minor and brief that most people here would rather know about ahead of time:

Two (very) minor female characters did a lesbian celebratory make-out at the end. It made my eyes roll to the back of my skull. I did get to talk to the young men I went with about the nature of propaganda and the self-deception of those who oppose God while thinking they’re doing good. And I reinforced the idea that all movies are preaching and we need to identify what the “sermon” was about (HT to Dan Philips of Pyromaniacs fame for pointing this out years ago).