Rise of Skywalker: Correct Predictions

New Warhorn Media post by Nathan Alberson:

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Great episode, and I think your major beats are correct. However, I want to add a central conceit that I think will happen:

Rey is a clone. A female clone. Of Anakin.

  • the deconstruction of Kylo Ben requires that he be ultimately faced with the fact that he is not the inheritor of Anakin’s legacy. His character will be forced to grapple with that fact and decide - probably to become good - because, to resonate with RJ’s dumb themes, he ultimately has to decide to make himself.
  • Palpatine commissioned a special line of clones secret to everyone else, based on Anakin because of his force power, for him to possess if he should be destroyed or die.
  • The reveal will come when Poe takes the Resistance to meet an old friend, Kerry Russell, to help them find one of your horcruxes or additional forces. Rey will see her face when she takes her helmet off and flash back to that scene on Jakku where she is being abandoned and remember Kerry Russell being there and become convinced that Kylo Ben lied to her and think (wrongly) that Kerry Russell is her mom. Kerry will get wide-eyed and avoid Rey for no good reason until she’s forced to admit to absconding with toddler clone Rey from Kamino/Kamino 2.0 and hiding her on Jakku at the behest of her secret lover Luke Skywalker. The movie may even intimate at first that Kerry and Luke are Rey’s parents upon her flashback. The “clone of Anakin” part will be revealed by Palpatine during/after the Rey/Ben Death Star confrontation, which will lead to Ben’s crisis and then…
  • Dark Rey will either be Palpatine-possessed Rey post clone revelation or the reveal of Palpatine being alive via another clone of her.

This twist keeps the saga about Anakin, makes Rey THE Skywalker, utilizes the scraps of Rey’s parentage, and gives Ben a compelling ultimate fall from which to recover and become good (because of Leia’s love, if you will).

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I hope they don’t do that. I hate clones as a plot device. But I could certainly see them going that route. :frowning:

Well… I hoped they wouldn’t do almost anything they’ve done, especially what they did in The Last Jedi, but I think my horrible theory has some Lucas-ian echoes to it… “rhymes” if you will.

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I am totally tracking with the theory that Rey is a female clone of Anakin. One of a line of clones.

Whatever happens, I’m going in with low expectations. I’ve observed it to be a rule that the theories that fans come up with are always more cool and compelling than what the movie executives ultimately come up with. We’re going to be disappointed one way or another.

I’m pretty much just expecting another piece of feminist garbage in a Star Wars wrapper.

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I just don’t understand why all you guys keep paying good money to watch these stupid movies. I think the last related movie I watched was the first one with Jar Jar Binks in it.

I like Star Wars. I really do. It’s a good trilogy.

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I don’t completely understand it either. But I think that Nathan/Jake have answered it, maybe Joseph and I need to re-listen to the fifteen hours of WarHorn Star Wars content to grasp it more deeply.

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The last movie actually ended up providing one of the most excellent backdrops against which to discuss with my kids the nature of Hollywood, the feminist agenda, and how to critically think about the worldviews being presented to us in movies. The new Aladdin movie was another great example.

Still, wait until they can be rented rather than go to theatres. :slight_smile:

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Because I’m a sucker. And because I enjoyed watching original Star Wars and reading the Expanded Universe novels so much growing up that my affections keep convincing me that something is there to be enjoyed in the new movies, against all evidence to the contrary.

Besides, Disney has made two enjoyable (one genuinely good and one merely that: enjoyable) Star Wars movies, Rogue One and Solo, so they’ve done just enough on their own to show that they can do good things with the material.