I sympathize with the young men looking for brides at megachurches. There’s one locally I’m thinking of in particular that has really gone off the rails, but where many young men and women attend. Having faith is hard.
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My thinking is that they rarely will know it’s a live option for a Christian unless they are in a real church, and hence the preaching and teaching and life of that church will be what leads them to repentance and faith. Love,
Back in the day, I worshipped at a church in the suburbs, Church A, where I served, and was also on leadership. But because that church did not have many singles in it, and I needed to have single friends - women as well as men - I would, in the evenings, attend Church B. It had many more singles in it, and that church then saw several fruitful marriages as a result. But what also happened is that many of those people then moved back out to “family-oriented” churches in the suburbs, like - ironically - the one I was “based” in.
When I shifted to the UK, my “home” church was a smallish (80 adults or so, not many singles) church plant, again in the suburbs. At night, for many years, I worshipped elsewhere, for the reasons I had done so beforehand.
I suspect the same is going on in many a Reformed church, where your singles worship and serve of a Sunday morning; then go elsewhere at night, perhaps somewhere quite unReformed, because they need to have single friends, and the odds of “finding someone” are that much better.
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I actually sorta do this. I don’t go to any official church things they put on, but I still have a friend group from my old church who puts on events and they aren’t officially sponsored by the church. They know I strongly disagree with the direction of the church and some agree with my criticisms … but still go there. It is odd to me. I am starting to see some of the pastors of that church going negative on complementarianism, for different reasons than Warhorn folk, so that might allow me to have some fruitful conversation with people and see who is who in that debate more visibly. I am not really sure if this will prove fruitful, I have other avenues of trying to find a spouse, like the group @jackson is in that I have already had more success in.
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Go for it! To quote Paul MacGuinness (manager of U2), “it doesn’t matter how many times you get it wrong, you only have to be right once”.
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Reminds me of what they used to tell women moving to Alaska: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
That’s what I’ve found moonlighting at other churches. And, yes, as an unmarried man, I’ve also gained and maintained helpful friendships from such other churches.
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I grew up in a baptist church, but met my wife at the Presbyterian church I would go to for night services. Now I’m Presbyterian…
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Some thoughts on engaging in the single life, which I wish I’d been aware of in my 20s.
Marriage is a gift, not a reward
We hear in nearly all wedding services how marriage is a gift of God. But if it is a gift, it cannot be a reward - not for “good behaviour” as a teenager/young adult, not for not dating, not even for believing the “right things” about marriage & family.
Look for mentoring from older singles
In this respect, looking back on things, I was very fortunate - I have a close friend who mentored me through some very strange countryside, and I’ve since done the same for others. Older singles will generally have the life experience and wisdom to help you, and certainly the time.
Your story is just as important as anyone else’s story
The slew of courtship, marriage and family testimonies you will hear will sometimes make you wonder if your own story matters. It does.
There’s no one-size-fits-all to living the Christian single life
As anyone comparing their situation to anyone’s else’s, will in all likelihood be told, “what is that to thee? Follow thou me”.
Nor is there any one-size-fits-all approach to courtship, either
'Nuff said! 
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