I think it is pretty safe to say that good men and women who have an understanding of biblical sexuality are both getting pretty scarce. No point in arguing about which one is harder to find.
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Back in the day, I would have loved to have come across a church like this.
Having both sons and daughters, I see the difficulties for each and have been thinking about what to do. The biggest problem I see is figuring out a way to find those scarce candidates.
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Donât discount the power of the internet in this regard.
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Yes, but the problem I found back in the day is that it was certainly possible to join services that would enable one to get connected with a large number of Christian women of all sorts, it was very difficult to screen by the criteria I wanted.
I was thinking less along the lines of online dating and more along the lines of arranged marriages. 
But to be a bit more serious, Iâm talking about connecting to the right churches, rather than the right dating services.
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Wasnât arguingâŚwas just being surprised at the divergence of observations. 
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Professionally, I would chalk it up to the statistics of small sample sizes.
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Or the perspectives of our respective sexes. (Which sounds like Iâm rapping. 
) But itâs been the case at every church/singles group Iâve observed first-hand for thirty years.
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Yes, that sounds along the right lines. I was inspired when I heard an elder sent around his daughterâs resume (so to speak) around to the churches in his presbytery.
The key, I think, will be developing something that is natural and organic. Formal courtship became a thing on the tail end of my single days, and I found it to be a bit weird â not because it was outside the box of traditional American dating culture, but because it seemed like an alien custom imposed like a square peg in a round hole by some people who read some books and woodenly translated theory into real life. The same goes for the âI Kissed Dating Goodbyeâ craze, though I was less directly affected by that since it was largely directed towards the younger set. Of course, traditional American dating culture is working out poorly, too.
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Yes, I was very focused on the number of single women in their 20s.
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What happens when the traditional values being upheld by churches include feminism? First-wave feminism (womenâs suffrage) has been outside the Overton window for 99 years. I certainly canât remember a time when second-wave feminism (women in all parts of the workplace) was meaningfully argued, and Iâm not a young man. You go girl/girl power feminism is basically as deeply entrenched in churches as it is in public schools.
So what on earth do âtraditional valuesâ mean in 2019 America?
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Sounds like we should start planning an annual Sanityville Singles conference.
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I would send people to this.
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We asked for Dalrockâs email in one of his comment threads, and he emailed me and gave it to us.
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Thanks Nathan
Much appreciated
My wife and I, along with another couple in our church, have been having this very discussion. Itâs even more heightened due to our location (far northern rural WI). What we are doing now is praying, working so that our kids are the kind who attract a âscarce candidateâ, and considering if a possible solution is to encourage our kids to attend a college with a really good church nearby.
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Re. More single women or men at church
I wonât speak about Reformed churches, but I questioned some friends and family on this not long ago, and the consensus was that, for younger singles (say, 20-40 years old), the ratio of single women to single men was anywhere from 2:1 to 5:1. Echoing Joelâs statement, it didnât seem that way to me when I was that age and single.
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In the podcast, it is stated that the Bible gives a prescription on how wives are to discipline their husbands, and 1 Peter 3 is a good place to start.
Iâm interested to hear more about this. How is a wife being submissive, and behaving chastely and respectfully âwithout a wordâ disciplining her husband?
Donât mean to be rude, but this question made me chuckle. Itâs an incredibly withering rebuke when Iâm provoked by the children and spout off in anger with some ill-considered discipline, and realize that my wife (who probably was the target of the original provocation) will not only bear it with a gracious demeanor but is also willing to follow me in enforcing that discipline. I chuckle because it happens so often in my house (four times a week?) that I can pretty much picture the whole scene in my head by now.
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It appears to me that you all have a different definition for discipline than I do.