Gluttons for punishment (Manosphere 2)

(Valerie) #41

My observation has long been the opposite—that there are far more quality unmarried women than quality men to pursue them. 🤷

(Joseph Bayly) #42

I think it is pretty safe to say that good men and women who have an understanding of biblical sexuality are both getting pretty scarce. No point in arguing about which one is harder to find.

(Joel Norris) #43

Back in the day, I would have loved to have come across a church like this.

Having both sons and daughters, I see the difficulties for each and have been thinking about what to do. The biggest problem I see is figuring out a way to find those scarce candidates.

(Joseph Bayly) #44

Don’t discount the power of the internet in this regard.

(Joel Norris) #45

Yes, but the problem I found back in the day is that it was certainly possible to join services that would enable one to get connected with a large number of Christian women of all sorts, it was very difficult to screen by the criteria I wanted.

(Joseph Bayly) #46

I was thinking less along the lines of online dating and more along the lines of arranged marriages. :slight_smile:

But to be a bit more serious, I’m talking about connecting to the right churches, rather than the right dating services.

(Valerie) #47

Wasn’t arguing…was just being surprised at the divergence of observations. :wink:

(Joel Norris) #48

Professionally, I would chalk it up to the statistics of small sample sizes.

(Valerie) #49

Or the perspectives of our respective sexes. (Which sounds like I’m rapping. :laughing:) But it’s been the case at every church/singles group I’ve observed first-hand for thirty years.

(Joel Norris) #50

Yes, that sounds along the right lines. I was inspired when I heard an elder sent around his daughter’s resume (so to speak) around to the churches in his presbytery.

The key, I think, will be developing something that is natural and organic. Formal courtship became a thing on the tail end of my single days, and I found it to be a bit weird – not because it was outside the box of traditional American dating culture, but because it seemed like an alien custom imposed like a square peg in a round hole by some people who read some books and woodenly translated theory into real life. The same goes for the “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” craze, though I was less directly affected by that since it was largely directed towards the younger set. Of course, traditional American dating culture is working out poorly, too.

(Joel Norris) #51

Yes, I was very focused on the number of single women in their 20s.

(John M. ) #52

What happens when the traditional values being upheld by churches include feminism? First-wave feminism (women’s suffrage) has been outside the Overton window for 99 years. I certainly can’t remember a time when second-wave feminism (women in all parts of the workplace) was meaningfully argued, and I’m not a young man. You go girl/girl power feminism is basically as deeply entrenched in churches as it is in public schools.

So what on earth do “traditional values” mean in 2019 America?

(Stephen Baker ) #53

Sounds like we should start planning an annual Sanityville Singles conference.


Hi there
Been following this podcast, and then back over at Dalrock’s to see his response at his blog
It’s been very interesting to say the least lol
Dalrock’s latest piece is back on the defensive accusing you guys of misrepresenting him, and like you said, his comment section is filled with very toxic people defending him

I have a question though…How did you guys find his email address to begin your exchange with him in the first place?
I personally have been very critical of Dalrock because of what I term is his cowardly way he hides in complete anonymity, he has no Twitter, no FaceBook, no Instagram, No linkedin, no email account, there is literally no way to contact the guy so how did you guys do it?

When you hide as Dalrock does, you don’t have to sit under any church authority or a pastor/elder…and that is Dalrock’s key flaw, by hiding away like he does, he can take swipes at Warhorn Media, and say whatever he wants and he gets away with it because he is not accountable to anyone
I think this is very bad…we all need checks and balances and to be held accountable to our brothers and sisters in Christ

(Jay Tuck) #55

I would send people to this.

(Nathan ) #56

We asked for Dalrock’s email in one of his comment threads, and he emailed me and gave it to us.


Thanks Nathan
Much appreciated :slight_smile:

(Jeremy Vander Galien) #58

My wife and I, along with another couple in our church, have been having this very discussion. It’s even more heightened due to our location (far northern rural WI). What we are doing now is praying, working so that our kids are the kind who attract a “scarce candidate”, and considering if a possible solution is to encourage our kids to attend a college with a really good church nearby.


Re. More single women or men at church

I won’t speak about Reformed churches, but I questioned some friends and family on this not long ago, and the consensus was that, for younger singles (say, 20-40 years old), the ratio of single women to single men was anywhere from 2:1 to 5:1. Echoing Joel’s statement, it didn’t seem that way to me when I was that age and single.


In the podcast, it is stated that the Bible gives a prescription on how wives are to discipline their husbands, and 1 Peter 3 is a good place to start.

I’m interested to hear more about this. How is a wife being submissive, and behaving chastely and respectfully “without a word” disciplining her husband?