Floating a theory here: Solid teaching on homosexuality from Christians who struggled/struggle with homosexuality is rare. Frequently, they’re all bent out of shape and trying to make excuses for sin. Two notable exceptions (that I’m aware of) are Rosaria Butterfield and this guy.
You know what they have in common? They were both actually living the full-on gay lifestyle before coming to Christ. When I think of some of the bad, Christian “teachers” on homosexuality, names like Sam Allberry, Greg Johnson, Wesley Hill, etc. come to mind. You know what they frequently have in common? They grew up in the church and so never experienced the full-on, soul-crushing gay lifestyle.
So the theory: Cook and Butterfield understand “gayness” and “homosexuality” and everything it implies better, having been saved out of it. These church-raised “gay” people, however have only experienced a church-modulated form of these evil desires. Being tired of fighting them, they try to dress them up to make them look better or redeem them somehow. There are several reasons they try to do this, but I’m betting that a big one is that they really don’t understand what they’re trying to “redeem.” By contrast Cook and Butterfield do, and so their response to the question of “what parts of gay identity should we salvage?” is “Why would you want to?”. To quote Cook again on the concept of “gay Christians”:
They are irreconcilable. It’s strange to me to see these attempts.